Totally Clueless

So, here goes one of the most awkward things I have yet to do. I feel as though the Lord has really been laying it on my heart to start a blog. The reason that is so strange is that I simply don't feel like I have anything to say and in addition to that important factor.....I am NOT a good writer. That's right folks.....I am not a good writer and I am starting a blog...hmmm.....God must have something up his sleeve.

As you may notice.....God has been whispering this in my ear now.....thus the post from a over a year ago and I have simply refused to respond with an affirmative. I honestly don't feel like I have time to start yet another project that will take up my "free" time but I am willing to follow what I feel like the Lord has laid upon my heart to see what his plans are.

I suppose my first thought is that he desires that we share what we learn spiritually. Well, he in lies a HUGE problem for me.....I don't think there is anyone out there who is interested in hearing what I am learning spiritually. This problem did not arise until getting married. It wasn't BECAUSE I got married that this problem came about, it was just a side affect of doing so....kind of like gaining weight.

When I was single, it seemed that there was always someone to hang out with and there were always ears that had a burning desire to hear what the Lord was teaching. This was a blessing for me because I always had an opportunity to share how he was filling up my cup and an opportunity to pour it out to others so that he would fill it up once again afresh and anew.

Oh, how I have seen that the things in our cup can become stagnant and gross. It's not that the Lord is not willing to refill our cups, it is that He needs somewhere to put the things he wants to give us and we must pour some of that stuff out to others for him to refill it.

Here is my opportunity to share those things.

SOOOOO.....the first thing I would love to share with you is.....GOD IS GOOD. As I have been very adamant about growing closer to Him these past few weeks, He has begun a process in me that is getting me on the right track for that spiritual growth I so desperatly need.

I would like to note that, not unlike many others I have spoken to; God gives me bits of personal wisdom in 3's. I am certain that He realizes I am too stupid to pick up on things the 1st time, so... long ago he started this wonderful process of revealing things to me in 3's.

This past week he has given me the task of "finding myself". It all started with the Bible Study we are doing for Mom's Touch called, "What Every Mom Needs." The chapter we were to do is called, "Identity." As you might be able to tell from the title, this was about how mothers have a tendancy to get wrapped up in caring for others and how important it is that we don't get lost in that and that we find out who WE are apart from all that we DO and all the titles we possess.

Second was a devotional that landed in my inbox from Proverbs 31 ministries. What was so interesting about this is that in my search for spiritual growth recently, I felt the Lord calling me to sign up for a devotional to be sent to my e-mail (the FREE and endless alternative to a devotional book.) I had been asking for some direction in my quiet time and felt that this was where the Lord was leading me. All that said; I had only done this the DAY before this particular devotional arrived in my inbox.....talk about divine timing. This devotional called, "The Real Me," by Renee Swope was about how important it is to take time to find out who we are as individuals. Ok, so this seems to be starting some sort of pattern here.

THEN, the 3rd and so far, final addition to this pattern was the marriage conference I attended this weekend. One of the sessions in this conference was aptly called, "Caring For Self," which was all about how we can't give what we don't have and the importance of taking care of oneself.

It was obvious at this point that the Lord was calling me to do some dirty work in my life.....really do a good scrubbing on my heart and get to work. He was clearly asking me to figure out who I am. I didn't even realize this needed to be done until all of this came about.

Thank you Jesus for being faithful to answer the prayers of our hearts. If I had not been seeking spiritual growth; I am certain that He would not have revealed this to me at this time!